why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
