He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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