It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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