I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
