I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
