the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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