I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
