Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
