Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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