I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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