Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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