I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
