I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
