Can Purell be used as lube?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
