my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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