don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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