Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just threw up on my dentist
tell your sister to shave her snatch
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
