Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
