I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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