maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
