we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
