I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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