It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My liver just had a heart attack.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
