before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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