my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
