Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
