I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
