One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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