Kiss
Puke
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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