I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
