New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
