I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
