How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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