he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize