dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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