This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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