She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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