if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
its liver damage thursday
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
