Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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