Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize