is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
