Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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