It's Friday. Sex?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize