dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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