Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
