you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
