Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
