omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize