this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my poor anus
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
