shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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