Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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