she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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