people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
