he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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