Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
