I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
