I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
