the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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