So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
