I hate all girls vehemently.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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