Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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