so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
