We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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