you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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