And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
