Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
