i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
babies were throwing up all over the place
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize