He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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