his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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