i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
