I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize