So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
