so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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